So, I was up at 4 AM like a jack in the box. Can't sleep from the chinese water torture in my head. Drip, drip, drip. So I lie there thinking. My cat is purring and rubbing his sleepy tuna breath lips on my hand... and I'm still thinking. Thinking about life... thinking that mercury goes retrograde today and gearing up (in my head) for it, so I'm making my list in my head of what I need to do. Meanwhile, I'm still staring at my ceiling fan, hoping that my brain will want to sleep for a few more hours. Nope. So, I'm checking things off my list in my head, petting my kitty and then I made (what seems to be) the biggest mistake of my life. I sent a message very early to someone, because I wasn't thinking. Or maybe I was thinking too much. The fact is, I did it and then it totally blew up on me... now this person thinks I'm horrible and just wants to be left alone. OK. I will leave you alone.


I'm having trouble today. I'm second-guessing myself and I shouldn't be. Does anybody in my life really get me? Does anybody really know the kind of person that I am? Do they know that I would never double-cross someone... that I would never consciously or intentionally hurt someone. Does anybody really know how much love I carry with me on a day to day basis? Does anybody share that kind of feeling with me? I just want good things for people... even strangers. I want the very best for everyone, because if the majority of the people in the world feel good, then you keep feeling good & it spirals. I love you, don't you see that? I love, I trust, I believe and I'm strong. I stand on my own two feet and am proud of that. For so long, I let others sway me in my decision making process and for once in my life I feel good enough about myself to really shine bright and take charge of my life. That is a good thing, don't you think? Why can't some people see my truth and understand my love? Why is it so hard to SEE? To see with not only your eyes, but with your heart and your gut and your soul. I guess sometimes it's too scary to go there, so we make up things to get us mad at others so it's easier to cast the scariness aside & not face it.


Well, if anyone knows me... they know that I will say it's time to FACE IT. Especially this year. If you don't change negative things in your life, look at yourself in the mirror and face yourself THIS YEAR (being a 1 year), then you might be facing the same crap throughout the rest of the 9-year cycle. The 1-year is about change and transformation... abrupt change and heavy transformation... I'm not psychic, I'm not a mind reader... it's all in the vibration of the numbers. It's scientific. So, even if this doesn't resonate at all with you, think about my words. You've already read them, so they're in your consciousness - now take action. Take baby steps. Know that there are people with REAL love out there who get it and who will love you thru your transformation.

For my friend Terry, who is also on a mercury retrograde roller coaster & the rest of you who need to shift your thought - think of 1 thing good in every day. Think of something magical about yourself & about the people surrounding you. See them for who they are, not what you THINK they are or should be in this Mad World... Circles are beautiful shapes, but they become ugly when you run in them and don't know how to get out. Shift your thought and you will get out.